I put it to you that this might, with a few tweaks, actually be a step in the right direction. I’d rather be at work than in prison. Community service is a thing. This is clearly coming at it backwards on pretty much every count, but there’s a kernel of a good idea in there.

You’re young, you’ll weather with time. We’re all just trying to get along.

Yes, in fact I’m calling for the centrally-organised, systematic eradication of pancakes from the breakfast menu. That’s what I mean when I say I like waffles.

Yes, it didn’t take long for somebody to accuse me of being a literal nazi. Those are odd people, though. Don’t tend to meet them in the real world, only on the internet.

What happens is the definition of nazi changes to incorporate anyone who disagrees with you.